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Debertt’s Numerological Etiquette of Medium Clapping.
All New Update! The hanging chad unfurled in Addendum A.
Applying the correct number of claps to a Medium article is a subtle art.
Hello. Aloysius Pompeous St Phillistine the Impaler Forthright-Stiflington VII here. I’ve been a staff writer at Debertt’s for 73 years now, so when a particularly sticky etiquette situation arises it is always me to whom they turn.
Rest assured, I am here to elucidate on the appropriate etiquette when approaching the clap button. With this guide in hand, you’ll be clapped out with confidence.
1 clap — Please don’t expect too much physical activity, I’m onto my third G&T. Note, you actually do need to have G&T in hand when attempting this and the better quality the gin, the more sincere your one clap will be. Time of day is important. If it’s 10am, suspicions of many sorts will be raised. An insincere one clap is the equivalent of pulling out of a hand shake at the last moment.
2 claps — See 1 clap. The second clap was accidental, yet can give the first clap more authenticity.
3 claps — the Holy Trinity of claps. 3 claps should only ever be applied to articles written by Dan Foster.
