Growing up creative and weird, and unfortunately good at math, I related to all of this. You’ve beautifully articulated how so many of these interactions occur. As you say, there’s an element of survival. You want to fit in, or at least make space for other people in your life, but at what cost to yourself?

As for cowboy hats, I bought an awful red, black and blue patterned shirt in the 80s, thinking it was the thing. I could never bring myself to wear it in public.