I hate my job on the Content Moderation Team.

I wonder about humans some times.

Photo by Uriel Soberanes on Unsplash

Hi, My name’s Virgil. I head up the orangutan unit on the Content Moderation Team at Hotgoogie.

Well of course I head up the unit because I’m the only talking orangutan they’ve been able to find.

I get it, we’re not as cute as those chimps and apparently we’re more intelligent so are expected to be “more useful”, but hey, I wouldn’t mind hanging out in the foyer green wall either, throwing bananas at the humans.

Bananas. I really wonder about humans some time. Culturally insensitive would be the words they’d use. It’s right there on page one of the simian bible.

“And on the first day that ape acquired speech, he said unto the world “I fucking hate bananas” and all the apes knew this was righteous.”

It truly is the great dumbing down of the human race. No one reads anything, anymore.

You wouldn’t believe how many of my coworkers haven’t even seen “Escape from Planet of the Apes”. Or “Battle for the Planet of the Apes” for that matter. Still, they think it’s funny to call me Paulie, because Paul Williams played me in the reenactment. Speaking of cultural insensitivity, whomever designed the makeup has no idea what an orangutan looks like.