Thank you security person, for reducing my carry on from 7kg to 4kg. I really didn’t need any of those things. And no, I’m not going to make a joke about assaulting the crew with a pair of nail scissors, I’ve learned this is not the right place to test out my new stand up routine.

Which leads to my new motto, “if I really need one, I can just buy one at the other end.” I rarely do. I have to admit the I haven’t flown any further than from Hobart to Melbourne in a while, which is only an hour.